In dating Christian singles, there will always be the issue of self-denial. Self-denial is what we do when we want to escape the realities that we find hard to accept. Instead of accepting them we either set them aside or cover them up. To put it simply self-denial is like wearing a mask. Christian singles who are having problems accepting themselves tend to resort to this. This isn’t really good if you want to have a serious relationship with someone. After all, honesty is an important factor in every relationship.
There are several reasons why we cannot accept ourselves when we are dating Christian singles. Here are some of these reasons:
1. Throwing the blame to another person. This is like resorting to a scapegoat. Instead of admitting your own mistakes, you will try to put the blame on others to escape the truth. This attitude has been present since the time of Christ. People who resort to doing this thinks that as long as there is someone else to blame, they wouldn’t have to face the mistakes that they have made.
2. Instead of focusing on yourself, you tend to focus on others. Although competing with others can sometimes be a healthy practice, constantly comparing yourself to others is not. You may also your compare material things with others. This isn’t a healthy way of competing. In the end, it will just make you feel miserable.
3. Wanting a new identity. Instead of embracing your own identity you try to copy other people’s identity. You think that if you were like him/her your life would be so much better.
4. You are focusing on pleasure. One way of escaping harsh realities is surrounding one’s self with pleasure. Instead of dealing with these issues, you drown yourself with pleasurable things. You set aside the negative things and focus on the positive ones. I don’t have anything against thinking positively but we should also remember that we can’t just leave the negative ones as they are.
These four are but a few of the many things that people who are dating Christian singles have to overcome in order for them to full accept themselves. The journey won’t be easy. But remember that exerting some effort to accept yourself as who you really are will result to a healthy relationship with not only your life partner but also with God. In embracing the negative side of everything, you will find that even with our imperfections there will always be that someone that will accept us for who we are and love us unconditionally. But before this someone comes, we should first learn how to accept ourselves. Remember to not rush things even if you think that you are ready. Accepting yourself is one thing and making your partner accept you is another. When dating Christian singles, take things slowly and they will eventually fall into place. When the time is right, God will make a way. Trust Him and always remember to ask for His guidance when making difficult decisions in your life.
